


past empty lots and early graves

by mothicalcreatures



Series: don't you know i'm human [1]
Category: The Terror (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Discussion of Amputation, Frostbite, Gen, Hopeful Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:20:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28984014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mothicalcreatures/pseuds/mothicalcreatures
Summary: Lady Silence paused, briefly, looking deeply unsettled, and then began walking again.“Wait…” Fred tried to scramble to his feet to follow after her, but he couldn’t get his feet under him and he collapsed with a sob.Then there was a tug on his sleeve, and Fred looked up to see Lady Silence standing over him.
Series: don't you know i'm human [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2198829
Comments: 6
Kudos: 19
Collections: The Terror Bingo (2020)





	past empty lots and early graves

**Author's Note:**

  * For [frederickdesvoeux (doomdxys)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/doomdxys/gifts).



> Written for the Terror Bingo prompt "Frostbite" 
> 
> So my characterization of Des Voeux is a combination of show and book Des Voeux with a liberal helping of what I've absorbed from listening to @frederickdesvoeux talk about him. Also, you can consider this an au where he didn't kill Tom Hartnell. 
> 
> Thanks to @annecoulmanross for the beta!
> 
> Title is from Deep Red Bells by Neko Case

Fred could hardly bend his fingers as he crawled over the shale. Bitterly numb, and too hot at the same time as he was freezing, any hope he’d had of getting out alive was slipping further and further away. He paused, head hung and breathing heavily. What was the point of even trying to go on? He had no shelter, no food, nothing but his gun and the clothes on his back. He should never have trusted Hickey, the rat bastard. Fred might not have been able to trust Crozier, but Crozier still knew how to lead, whereas Hickey… Hickey had only known how to craft a rough approximation of leadership.

Footsteps on the shale jolted him out of his thoughts. He didn’t know who he was hoping it would be—certainly any of the remaining men would not think kindly of him—but he hoped anyway and forced himself to look up.

It was Lady Silence.

Fred sucked in a sharp breath of frigid air and hauled himself forward again. “Please,” he croaked. “God, please.”

He didn’t even know what exactly he was asking for, but he knew he had no real right to ask for it—he had never helped Lady Silence, hadn’t even been particularly kind to her.

“Help me, please.” He just wanted to live.

Lady Silence paused, briefly, looking deeply unsettled, and then began walking again.

“Wait…” Fred tried to scramble to his feet to follow after her, but he couldn’t get his feet under him and he collapsed with a sob.

Then there was a tug on his sleeve, and Fred looked up to see Lady Silence standing over him. He nearly broke down in relief, but he didn’t have that luxury—she would certainly leave him again if he wasn’t able to keep up with her.

After a few fumbled attempts, Fred was able to grab onto her arm and she more or less hauled him to his feet before letting go and returning to her small sledge. Fred grabbed his gun and, slinging it over his shoulder, staggered after her.

It wasn’t long before they came to the site of Hickey’s horrible final showdown with the creature. Fred hung back somewhat as Lady Silence moved resolutely forward—just because she wasn’t afraid of the thing didn’t mean he wasn’t—but as they got closer it was plain to see that the creature was quite dead. As was everyone else, Fred thought, glancing around, and while Lady Silence headed for a creature, Fred began scavenging for anything that could be salvaged.

When it came to spare clothing, there was next to nothing usable, but he was able to scrounge up a bit of extra ammunition. If he were lucky, Lady Silence would bring them past their camp, and he’d have a chance to collect some things.

His scavenging was interrupted abruptly by Lady Silence grabbing his arm. He jerked back, startled, but she grabbed him again and tugged him forward, gesturing behind her.

Captain Crozier was lying on the ground next to the creature, and while he seemed just as dead as everyone else… maybe… “Is he alive?”

A stupid question. Not only could Lady Silence not answer, but he doubted she could understand him.

Lady Silence let go of him abruptly and made her way back over to the captain. Fred took a shaky breath and followed.

Crozier _was_ alive, but completely unresponsive. Lady Silence held up Crozier’s cuffed wrist, tugged at the cuff, and then brandished a strangely shaped knife.

Fred shook his head quickly. “No. Keys, we have keys.” He tried to mime unlocking the cuff, but Lady Silence just looked at him confused and Fred switched his attention back to the bodies around them. Who had been carrying the keys?

“Wait… don’t do anything,” Fred said, stepping back. “I’ll find the keys.”

The time it took to locate the keys lying on the shale, having been flung away from whoever’d been carrying them, was agonizingly long, and Fred kept glancing back at Lady Silence. Thankfully, she seemed to have gotten the message that she should wait, and once Fred had the keys in hand he hurried back over.

Fred held up the keys to Lady Silence as he dropped to the ground next to Crozier, and nearly dropped them as the action sent pain jarring through his knees. It took him a moment to recover himself, but once he did, Fred was quick to unlock the cuff around Crozier’s wrist. “There, no need to cut his hand off.”

Fred didn’t know if Lady Silence had really understood a word he’d said, but she nodded and then gestured between Crozier and her sledge.

“Put him on the sledge?” He mimicked her motions as he spoke, and she nodded again and got to her feet.

Fred sighed and got back on his feet as well. What he would have given for Goodsir to still be alive, or for Captain Crozier to be awake.

Between the two of them, they got Crozier on the sledge, though Lady Silence wound up bearing the brunt of his weight. The moment they had lifted him Fred’s shoulders had become so fiercely painful he’d stumbled nearly dropped Crozier. Fred was only a little bit jealous that Crozier was the one who got wrapped in Lady Silence’s fur blanket.

“Can we stop by our camp?” Fred tried asking Lady Silence. “For supplies? We don’t have much, but we have some things. I need a coat.”

The cold had been eating at him for a while now, and it had passed the point of pain, particularly in his extremities. He was losing feeling in his fingers and he tucked them up in his armpits to try to keep them warm, but he would have killed for gloves or mittens.

Lady Silence, if she understood anything, made no response. She did not even turn to look at Fred as she began walking again. Fred had no choice but to follow.

As it turned out, they did pass through their camp on whatever route Lady Silence was taking them, and while Fred had not forgotten Goodsir’s death, seeing his body again was jarring. It seemed more unsettling now, having seen how far gone from sanity Hickey had been at the end. He turned to look at Lady Silence who had stopped. She looked absolutely distraught.

“He killed himself,” Fred said softly. “I’m sorry.”

Lady Silence did turn to look at him then.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. He hoped that, even if she couldn’t understand, she could divine his meaning from his face. Fred _was_ sorry. Goodsir had been a good man.

Fred couldn’t read the expression on her face, but there was a bitterness to it that had only appeared when she’d turned to him. They stayed locked like that for several moments before a groan from Crozier caught both of their attention.

“Captain Crozier?”

Crozier blinked blearily and his gaze flicked to Fred and then to Lady Silence and he sighed, appearing almost relieved.

As Crozier pulled himself into a sitting position and then to his feet, he said something in the Inuit tongue to Lady Silence, who nodded in response. Then he turned to Fred. “Mr. Des Voeux, see what supplies you can scrounge up for us and meet us back here.”

Fred swallowed and nodded. “Yes, sir.”

There was part of Fred’s mind that warned that this was an excuse for Crozier and Lady Silence to leave him behind, but for all Crozier’s past incompetence, he was more often blunt and straightforward than he was underhanded. For all Hickey had talked of Crozier abandoning them, it had never come to pass, and it had been Hickey who’d used them for his own ends.

Fred ducked into the first tent he came to, began gathering blankets, coats, slops, whatever he could find. He shrugged into his own coat and grabbed his gloves. It was then that he realized that the pain and numbness in his hands was frostbite. His fingers were starting to blacken, and he shuddered. He tugged on his gloves quickly; there was nothing that could be done about it now.

After collecting the captain’s coat and things from the tent he’d been put in, he returned to where Lady Silence’s things lay on the ground in a small pile, dropping what he was carrying to the ground unceremoniously to relieve his hands. Her sledge was gone, but… Fred glanced around. A ways in the distance he saw Crozier and Lady Silence building up a burial cairn for Goodsir.

Fred took the moment alone to observe the camp—to try to think of what else they ought to bring, but his mind felt so fogged. A compass would be good, guns… He reached up to touch the gun he had slung over his shoulder… except… except it wasn’t there. He must have put it down when he put his coat on and never picked it back up. Sighing, he retraced his steps to find the gun and then went to see if he could locate a compass and more ammunition.

By the time he returned to the spot he’d dropped Crozier’s things both Crozier and Lady Silence had returned and Crozier was helping her pack her sledge.

“Mr. Des Voeux, were you able to find everything we need?” Crozier asked, straightening when he noticed Fred.

“I think so,” Fred replied. “I… there’s… there’s still some tins left, I wasn’t sure if we should bring them.”

Crozier looked thoughtful for a moment and then shook his head. “With Lady Silence’s help, I hope we can avoid having to eat those anymore.”

“We’ll be staying with her then?” Hope pulsed in Fred’s chest, even though logically he knew, should they survive, he would still be facing court martial.

“At least until we can rejoin the other men,” Crozier replied, and that was more than enough to crush any hope that had begun.

“They won’t be happy to see me,” Fred replied.

Crozier sighed. “No, they won’t, but we have to catch up to them first.”

It wasn’t until they stopped to pitch their small camp as the sun began to set that Fred realized that he had not brought one of their own tents. He opened his mouth to apologize, but Crozier held up a hand to stop him and ushered him inside.

The tent was cramped, clearly not intended for three, but it kept the chill of the wind out and the heat of the three of them would surely keep it warm.

Once they had spread out their bedding Fred all but collapsed. He sunk to the ground, peeling off his gloves—his fingers looked even worse in the low light in the tent. He tried to rub feeling back into his fingers, but what he could feel only hurt and he bit back a whimper.

“Everything all right?” Crozier asked, grunting as he lowered himself to the ground next to Fred.

“My hands.” Fred extended his fingers. “I… wasn’t wearing gloves for a while.”

Crozier took one of Fred’s hands carefully; he looked it over and sighed. “They’ll need to go, at least some of them.”

Fred nodded. He’d expected as much.

“I’m afraid I don’t have a knife on me, but I expect Lady Silence does,” Crozier continued. “I’ll see if she’ll allow me use of it.”

“She does,” Fred replied. “Nearly took your hand off with it when she couldn’t get the cuff off you.”

Crozier nodded and let go of Fred’s hand, and Fred immediately curled it against his chest.

“I suppose I have you to thank for still having both my hands, then,” Crozier said with a small chuckle.

Fred swallowed. “I found the keys.” After another moment’s pause, he added. “I am sorry, sir. I know I have no excuse… I thought… ”

Crozier’s hand on his arm brought his words to a halt. “There will be time for apologies later. For now, rest and I’ll see what can be done for your hands. Do you trust me?”

Fred didn’t really see that he had much of a choice, but as he thought about it… he found he did trust Crozier. “I do,” he said. “I- I want to live, sir.”

“I will do everything in my power to ensure that you do,” Crozier replied, giving Fred’s arm a light squeeze and Fred could have wept in relief.

When Crozier withdrew, he turned to speak quietly to Lady Silence and Fred slumped down onto their blankets, tears pricking at his eyes. The hope he’d pushed down earlier welled up once more and Fred could almost believe that they would make it home.


End file.
